I Am Taking A Gap Year

Thursday 6th Sept 2012

“ I am taking a Gap Year! “ …

A sentence that I have repeatedly used in different occasions.  A sentence that also helped me distinguish myself in the eyes of some (entertainingly) astounded ALA guests. Rather than speaking about my triumph in getting into some world renowned university (that I did not get into anyway) I would pitch my Gap Year plans with an ambitious tone and excited smile, successfully captivating their attention for the rest of the tour.  It saved me from filling out the housing forms, the admitted student’s surveys, the meal plans forms ... and all the boring stuff (hum … humm). This Gap year allowed me to enjoy my summer to the fullest; sleeping until my body refused to do so anymore and planning my days as I wake up. I enjoyed every bit of it … so far… Until today!

My days were glorious. I took a gap year as I always wanted to, I succeeded in my NEC roles, I started taking intensive German classes, and most importantly … I found THE job. After a meeting set by Mr Oummih with the director of the Regional Investment Center of Casablanca, the latter invited me to work for the Moroccan Student Foundation in Casa. The Moroccan Student Foundation is a nonprofit organization that provides support, guidance and financial help for high school seniors who come from orphanages but who still achieved really well in the national examination. When I read the foundation’s mission statement I was absolutely in love with them. Moreover, my job required me to design a follow up program for the MSF’s scholars and alumni and therefore convert the administrative relationship that the beneficiaries and the benefactors share to a more amicable and familial one. For someone who is all about education, self-development and event planning, there was no excuse not to take the job.

Soooo … as enthusiastic as I sounded in the previous paragraph, I started work on Monday. I went to the office with so many ideas about what I want to achieve for the foundation that my head ached half way between the train station and the office building.

I was ready …

 

  (My Calendar)

 

-          Bring it on world … I am an ALA GY and I got all the time and effort for you!

LOL!  

Monday … was utterly unproductive. They forgot to tell me to bring my lap top, and there was no way I was gonna achieve anything without a typing gadget that can catch some internet. I had to leave at midday, go back to Rabat and work from there.

Tuesday, I went to the doctor early in the morning to check why my heel was aching so bad and the doctor said he had to perform a little “medical intervention” to help my heel recover. I never thought razor blades and bloodshed were included. He never bothered to mention them either. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had to stay home for the rest of the day and call my “BOSS” to explain my situation.

Yesterday, unearthing the leftovers of my fresh enthusiasm, I went to work. I entered the office at 10 am with a smile and a noisy crutch under my right underarm. I waited until 11 to greet the first employee to come and eventually stopped waiting for my “BOSS” who was supposed to confirm my work but never came.

My work was then delayed, and everything had to be postponed till today.

Today, I still managed to find some motivation (it was on the verge of a cliff trying to go suicidal) and entered my office promptly on time, again. 10 am, 11 am, 12 am … Ah 12:15? 12:15 once?! … 12:15 twice ?!  12:15 is his majesty’s final say. He comes in, greets everybody in a nonchalant manner and dives into his “Bureau”.  I gave him 5 minutes to settle then peeked to check if he is ready to receive his new-ever-annoying and too-hard-working employee. He noticed. I kinda trembled. He noticed again. I gave up protocol and just went in!

I showed him my work, he gave me feedback. I corrected and improved the results. But, by the time I finished, it was already 5pm and I had to leave. I sent him a softcopy of my work and asked him to send me back his new feedback. I grabbed my bag and got out of there.

I just wanted to leave. I needed to leave. I felt underappreciated, unproductive and misplaced. I thought, if he could just make full use of my energy and my willingness to provide it, I would have done this work on Monday already. I could have moved way forward and done so much more in 4 days. I mean … It’s four days!! I called dad and explained that I was frustrated, that I don’t like the unhealthy communication between employees in the office and that everyone is so programmed to do things. I was frustrated also because the cause I came here for, and that seemed so beautiful in the mission statement, was all reduced and crashed to simple, automatic and uneducated actions…. Too automatic for my taste…

 

                  (StressBall from Miss Zsofia)
 

 

The selection process of the scholarship beneficiaries disgusted me. They do not call them by name, surname or even by city. They call the applicants by “folders”: Do you have that 007 folder from OCP (OCP is a partner -_-) . Have you seen my 91 folder from last year … For a while I thought.. STOP! Please Use dishes! It would have made me wanna work more in those stressing times when food becomes the remedy! Or Please use colors! It would have sounded prettier. “Hey! Can you call purple? I have your sky blue …” God! The things routine can slip off the mind. The things repetitive behavior can dissolve from our consciousness.

After this, there was no hope for a new inexperienced little GY to feel welcomed there anymore. I understood that this was “their Job” and they “Had” to do it. I also understood that I was part of that job as well. I am not the first to come and go as soon as I find a better place to be in. But most of all, and as the setting sun shone its lights through the train window, I had a moment of epiphany … mmmm …  I am not unwelcomed cause if you think about it, I actually just got the most honest welcome to the work ethics of my Moroccan society.

Dad found nothing unusual in what I was narrating. He said that it’s just the way it’s always been done here and that maybe I am the one who is not so acquainted to it. He said that it’s good to be observant and compare between what I have opened my eyes to in ALA and what  I am finding at my work place, but it is not healthy for me nor for my work to keep wanting everything to be under similar conditions.

Mr. O … Mr. Veda, you can already list all the lessons you taught us about this kind of situations (self regulation should be number one). Ms. Laura … Ms Chemeli, you can imagine how I am longing for college at this very moment. Mr Peter … Thank you for teaching me how to properly welcome a stranger into a new environment.  

 

PS I:  This is the frustrated me! Tomorrow I will probably still wake up and find lots of motivation and energy to go and serve_ My Boss is still an educated man, my colleagues are doing the best they can as well. It’s just that I am used to other ways of doing things.

PS II: I am well aware that the experience only matters when lived in its entirety; the above included.