Hello world; all of you few people who still follow this long forgotten blog. I am sorry I haven't been very persistant in my writting lately; I haven't been writting at all actually. I don't have any reasonnable excuse but, on Times Red version of Ain't no Sunshine beats, I have produced an update of what I think of my first 6 months as a Gap Year Student - if you care to know :)
Since my last post here, I haven’t lost interest in the main areas I had set to work on during my Gap year ( namely: Social Entrepreneurship, Education and Work experience in the Moroccan context plus Bettering my Basketball, Music/ Luth and German) . However, what I choose to speak to you about in this one is the way all these interests and activities I have been doing have paid dividends in creating space for me in the Moroccan youth social scene.
From the very first weeks following my return to Morocco, I was already aware of the distances that unhesitatingly disconnected me to my “Home country” and that progressively widened throughout the two years I spent in Johannesburg. At the beginning, I felt disoriented, unwelcomed and remorseful. Disoriented because, the phone numbers, the references, the jargon I used to employ with my environment before, wasn’t in use anymore. Unwelcomed because the one thousand and one friends I used to have had moved to distant cities and worlds to which I could never belong. And lastly, remorseful because I wished I had invested more time and effort into safeguarding my relationships with my people.
All this led me to reassess the worth of the education and the achievements I have been seeking abroad, if all I have become in the eyes of my community is the elitist, haughty over-achiever (an attribute, which’s underpinnings I am still analytical of). I have become that kid who once was one of their own but who can’t fit in anymore; me who, for the past couple of years, have found purpose and drive in the betterment of my people. So I asked myself: How can I ever be the change I want to see if I don’t belong to where the change needs to happen anymore?
I had my reality check and serious decision making needed to follow.
First, I started by prioritizing the events I wanted to attend according to their audiences. All the international conferences and foreign initiatives that needed me to travel abroad had to be neglected/ dropped while local and national ones topped the list. Afterwards, I set as a goal to attend the three most important youth gatherings scheduled before the end of 2012: TechCamp Morocco, StartUp Weekend Marrakech and finally the launch of the Moroccan Center for innovation and Social Enterprise (MCISE).
Second, I made sure I invested time and effort into my personal relationships. I had to rediscover my social skills and put the ALAian* in me in context. I started paying close attention to the people around me and making the first steps towards them. Whether having lunch with a colleague, studying for a test with a classmate or checking on an absent teammate, small initiatives eventually made a difference.
And lastly, I needed to restore my old relationships and revive them. This last task turned out to be almost effortless thanks to social media. All I had to do was send messages and remind people of my presence. The former resulted in follow up conversations and eventually to calls and lunches. Family, however, needed me to travel around a little for long weekend visits. Which my parents happily paid for as each one of them was eager to show everyone how grown up I have become but mostly to prove that sending me all the way to South Africa was not such a bad idea after all.
All these events, outings and travels included family, friends and elders as well as civil society, youth activists and aspiring social entrepreneurs. But most importantly, it plunged me in the Moroccan social scene. I surrounded myself with my people. I needed to have a glimpse into how each one of them thinks, what they talk about and what makes us who we are. I wanted to put myself out there and open up to them, talk to them about my experiences, my interests. I wanted to know them and I wanted them to know me just as much.
The three events I mentioned before, I attended and made best use of: I joined the MCISE team, got chosen by TechCamp to speak on national radio about the National Entrepreneurial Camp, and developed an idea to a business plan with a video teaser during the Start-Up Weekend.
I have put self regulation to the test and committed to rediscovering my social skills within the Moroccan context. A process that was quite challenging at the beginning as I couldn’t open up to people as easily as I hoped but that begun to pay off recently. The network I built respects my difference and finds value in it. I have been invited to Speak at a TEDx event, offered to organize another TEDx event and have been asked to tell my story with entrepreneurial leadership at an orientation camp for high school students.
And of course, what could be a better way to spend weekends than being spoilt by aunt’s delicious dishes; the same aunt who fiercely objected my departure to ALA – my departure anywhere actually- but who now encourages her children to apply?! ( Nothing, Absolutely Nothing :p )
To be very honest with you, I came back thinking Morocco needs me, that it is waiting for me and that– blame it on my optimistic ALAian* background- change is easy. However, Morocco taught me that change is happening right now right here! Moreover, it will take me more than a business plan and some formal meetings to reach the dreams I have for this country. I have been challenged at all levels and learnt to listen and pay attention. I have had to walk in peoples – Moroccan- shoes and take initiatives to reach out to them.
At the end of the day, all this gave me so much perspective. But most importantly, it has fueled me with ever more zeal to pursue my passion for education. Instead of naively optimistic, I am now rather scared of how immense the responsibility I have taken upon myself is; scared of how big my aspirations are and scared of whether I have what it takes to realize them. The only thing I am sure about is the hard work I will have to put in if I want to be who I want to be.
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